7 October 2022
Mychelle Mihailof has two very special books in her house. One tells the life story of her mother, Toni, and the other, the story of her brother, Michael.
Both Toni and Michael died from motor neurone disease in 2016 and 2017, respectively, and their memoirs were written by a Harbour Hospice volunteer life story writer in the final months of their lives. Mychelle often pulls them out to reminisce and says it was the sense of peace these books brought to her mother and brother that inspired her to become a hospice life story writer too.
“With Michael in particular, even though his body was giving up on him he still felt he had to be around, that he had to give, that there was more he needed us to know. By taking down his story that was a way of rounding off his life for him. He was able to find a way to acceptance, and to die feeling he’d passed everything on. And for both he and Mum, retelling stories from their past helped them celebrate their lives as lives well lived.”
Both Michael and Toni had been great travellers, Mychelle shares. “Mum had married at 19, had four children and a marriage she wasn't very happy in. So by her 40s she was free of all of us! She started traveling; South America was her favourite country.”
Michael, in comparison, didn't marry or have children. He was a “global citizen” with lots of friends. “Michael really lived a life. That was evident in his great big thick story,” Mychelle smiles.
Before volunteering Mychelle had worked as a coordinator for in-home early childhood provider, PORSE. But she retired after Michael became too ill to continue living in his Glenorchy home and he moved in with her and her family. Other family members and friends moved in too, and together they cared for Michael and their mother, who had lived on the corner of Mychelle’s street, over a period of two years with hospice support.
In the past five years Mychelle has recorded the life stories of at least 10 patients, and every story has been unique, she says. “Sometimes when we start off the patient is a little bit hesitant. They’ll say, ‘I haven't really done much, there’s nothing that stands out. It's just been an ordinary life.’ So I’ll say, ‘Okay, well, let's just start at the beginning and we'll work our way through… and absolutely beautiful moments come up.”
This story first appeared in Hibiscus Matters on 8 August 2022, you can read it here.
