19 May 2025
John and Karen Rehm were introduced to Harbour Hospice services soon after John’s shock cancer diagnosis. Knowing they’ll be so well looked after has brought huge relief.
John Rehm reckons he’s barely taken a painkiller in his life. So, when he found out he had terminal cancer in January 2025 the news came as a huge shock. “I’ve always been fit and there’s been no cancer in the family, so it was the last thing I expected.”
His wife Karen, in the meantime, struggled to process the news. “John and I have been together more than 52 years and we’ve always done everything together. John doesn't stress about things he can't change, but that’s not quite so easy for me. The news made me feel very vulnerable. I just tried to keep busy – that’s how I cope.”
Within a month of John’s diagnosis, the couple was introduced to Harbour Hospice services. Karen remembers the day hospice community nurse, Kate, visited because it was their wedding anniversary, 3 February.
She says, “Kate came in the morning, and I found her visit so reassuring. We were still in a bit of shock then and didn’t know what we were going to do. She put us in the picture, as to what services were available and how hospice could help us. It gave us a lot of positivity - just knowing we had that support, and people we could phone who knew how to help us. We’ve decided John is going to stay at home right until the end, so I know I will need that help.”
“We’re dealing with it much better now because of the support we've got around us. We only need to mention a problem and hospice says, ‘we can help you with that’.”
With Kate’s encouragement Karen went along to her first caregivers’ support group meeting, facilitated by Harbour Hospice. She felt apprehensive about walking into a room full of strangers. “But as soon as I sat down, I relaxed straight away. Everyone was so bright and friendly, and I found it just helped tremendously to talk with people that understood what I was going through. Even though you have lots of support around you with family and friends, when people haven’t been through similar, the conversations aren’t the same.”
Meanwhile, John has found it very cathartic to have his life story written by a hospice volunteer life story writer.
“It was something I’d always wanted to do, because I remember what I was told about where my grandparents came from, and their journey out here. Otherwise, all those stories get lost. So, when I found out hospice did it, I thought, ‘right’. It has been good to go back over things and they’ve been able to write down all my favourite sayings for my grandkids, as well as my advice. It’s called Grandpa’s Book.”
Knowing hospice is there for them has taken a huge weight off their shoulders, Karen says. “We’re dealing with it much better now than we were at the beginning. And that’s because of the support we've got around us, and knowing hospice knows how to help us. We only need to mention a problem and they say, ‘we can help you with that’.”
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