4 December 2025
This Christmas Harbour Hospice will care for around 500 local families. Day or night, 24/7, our specialist teams will be there for families and whānau so they can celebrate in whatever way is meaningful to them.
For Judy and Peter, that means keeping things simple… and perhaps stealing a kiss under the mistletoe.
For some families, Christmas is all about the traditional turkey dinner. For others, it’s a BBQ on the beach or enjoying an afternoon nap.
For Judy and Peter, the magic lies in simplicity. “In 52 years of marriage we’ve had all kinds of Christmases, but what works best for us is keeping things simple,” says Judy.
There’s still a special meal – King salmon (only 13 minutes in the oven) served with pan-fried vegetables, herbs and spices, plus meats, cheeses and desserts that the family has brought. And there are presents for the grandchildren, of course. But when the couple’s son told them he loved Christmas at theirs because he could relax, they knew they’d got the formula right.
Judy sums up, “Christmas for us is just another day, but with a bow.”
Judy, Peter and their family are among 500 families who will be under Harbour Hospice care this Christmas. Hospice is there every day of the year, helping families focus on what matters most, with care and support always within reach.
The couple, who came under hospice care in June 2022 after Judy was diagnosed with terminal metastatic cancer, says knowing hospice is only a phone call away brings comfort and reassurance. “And especially at Christmas time, too. We have the 24-hour number up on the fridge and we know we can call any time.”
“It’s like hospice is sitting right here on our shoulder, but we don’t feel their weight. Like Christmas angels,” Peter says.
When Judy was first told she was terminal she appreciated frequent visits from hospice’s community nursing and medical team. “In the beginning I wanted that contact more often because I needed to talk about it. There was so much happening in my mind and a lot of turmoil around how to deal with it. I’ve benefitted immensely from the community nurses' visits as I've grappled with the medical aspects of living with dying. Their visits are less frequent now as we’ve settled into what works for us, but hospice has the timing just right.”
The couple has been humbled by the understanding they’ve felt from the hospice team. “They don’t come in heavy-handed; they're here to listen to whatever is worrying us. I know I can get wound up about things and talk too much,” Judy says. “But I never feel judged.”
She and Peter have found real comfort in hospice counselling sessions. “The first counsellor had such a gentle approach, and the fact she wasn't writing notes was a lovely feeling,” says Judy. “And Pete, who's probably more inclined to internalise situations, opened up and that's what I really appreciated.
“Our next counsellor was wonderful too. We get talking about all sorts of things and she makes us feel relaxed and listens to our banter.
“She told me she’ll be there for me afterwards too, and knowing I’ll have someone to talk to really helps.”
Facing Judy’s mortality has taught the couple many valuable lessons. Perhaps the biggest, that it’s the little moments that matter.
“We've worked out that it's not the trips overseas, or spending lots of money on a new car,” says Peter. “It’s living our lives the way we like to, enjoying each day with nature around us and the garden and going out for walks.
Judy adds, “Being in this situation has helped us realise that what’s important to us is to feel special at home. Because being at home is comforting when you've got discomfort and you’re dealing with different pain levels. At home it's easier to settle in and relax.”
The couple, who are even more in love now than when they met in the navy at 19 and 20, have had many conversations about what lies ahead. “And many have ended with both of us in tears, but we've got past that stage now and can talk about death more easily,” Judy says.
“Every morning that we wake up together is a blessing,” Peter says. “It’s like Christmas Day every day. We wake up together, we feel grateful, then we do today.”
