29 February 2024
Many people think of hospice as a building where you go to die, yet 74% of stays at Harbour Hospice are for symptom management or respite care. That means that most people who are admitted to a Harbour Hospice Inpatient Unit (IPU) leave feeling better than when they went in. Their carer gets a much-needed break, too, to rest and recharge their batteries.
Ex-Marine Scott Beson, 74, and his wife Julie, 64, know this only too well. Scott has type 1 diabetes and Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) - a progressive illness that affects your respiratory system. He is cared for at home by Julie with Harbour Hospice support, and both say they don’t know what they’d do if hospice respite care wasn’t available to them.
During Scott’s IPU stays hospice’s multidisciplinary team closely monitors his symptoms. They review
his medications and adjust them as his needs evolve and change, and they ensure that his mental
and spiritual wellbeing is being looked after, too. Scott says his time in the IPU makes him feel like
he's at a resort. “The way they treat you, the staff and volunteers. They make you feel good, and the
food is beautiful.
“I didn’t even know there was a place like Hospice. But boy, what an A-plus place.”
Meanwhile, Julie gets to hand over the responsibility of Scott’s care for a few days.
“So often the caregiver is put on the backburner yet your whole world is dominated by caring for your loved one and you need support too,” she says. To begin with Julie would “hover” when Scott went in for respite, fearing he’d take a turn for the worse. But in the 16 months that the couple have been with Harbour Hospice she has gradually learned to relax. She took her first holiday in four years when Scott went into the IPU in late 2023, treating herself to a trip to Melbourne. “I had an absolute ball!”
"We’re not in this on our own and it has meant we’ve been able to focus more on enjoying our time together." Julie
Before Scott and Julie joined the Harbour Hospice whānau their lives had been in constant upheaval. “In the 24 months before Scott went into Hospice care he was in and out of hospital 23 times,” Julie says. “Now the hospital visits are far, far fewer and our lives are more settled.”
As well as benefiting from respite care, Scott is cared for by the hospice community nursing team, who make weekly phone calls and fortnightly visits - visiting more frequently when needed.
Julie has regular counselling sessions with a hospice counsellor, saying, “It gives me a place to vent and explain my feelings. I go from being very sad to very upset and angry to ‘why has this happened?’ and the counsellor has helped me to understand that all of this is okay.”
Scott and Julie, who met 45 years ago in a crowded pub in Australia, are fortunate to have Julie’s family living next door. Julie’s mother and sister are three doors down and the couple’s two- daughters and grandchildren live next door.
But sometimes Scott simply craves the company of men, so Harbour Hospice’s Family Support Team arranged for a male volunteer to start visiting him. He loves it. “It’s just so good to talk to a man!”
The couple know and understand that Scott is on his “final journey”. In his youth Scott had fought in the Vietnam War and was one of only three men in a battalion of 50 to come home alive and with all his limbs. His injuries were a broken back and burst eardrum. He’s the first to admit he has dodged a lot of bullets in his lifetime - but he will not dodge COPD.
Julie says Scott is someone who has made her feel safe all her life. She was so sure he was “the one” she moved in with him after only two weeks of knowing him.
“In a way I’m already grieving. And what I like about hospice is they respect our situation and they talk to us about it. There's no sugarcoating it but they do it in such a nice way.
"This full and frank approach has helped us prepare for Scott’s passing. And I think that's important, to be as prepared as you can be,” Julie says.
"In the time that we’ve been with hospice the team has got to know Scott really well,” she concludes. “They have multidisciplinary meetings every week to talk about his care, and the thread of his storyline goes through the whole system. Everybody, from the doctors to the inpatient nurses to the community nurses to the counsellors, is on board with how Scott is week to week.
“For me that brings great peace of mind. We’re not in this on our own and it has meant we’ve been able to focus more on enjoying our time together.”
Please donate to Harbour Hospice today to ensure respite care for people like Scott and Julie.
Every donation helps provide specialist palliative care programmes, at no cost, to our community.
